The Luxury of Procrastination

A funny thing has happened to me lately.  I had a baby and where I thought this would be the beginning of the end of my life as an artist.  The exact opposite has happened.  I am painfully aware of how little time I have.  Life is moving faster and faster everyday.  I feel like I stepped onto the wheel and now I can see how quickly I will be in my 40s, 50s, 60s, in no time at all.  And if I don't spend each day doing what I want to do with my life, I will miss out on my chance to do it at all.  I lost the luxury to procrastinate.  I got too busy to waste time.  And I no longer want to put off living.  While I take care of my girl, I am thinking about what I will do when I have a free five minutes.  It might be a list of 20 things but the pace of baby allows me to prioritize  and start with the most important thing.  And I have realized day after day that this thing, the most important thing to me is painting.  When I have 5 minutes, I want to spend it making art.  The speed of life is so frenetic now and I just wish I hadn't spent so much time trying to decide what to do.  I wish I had spent my 20s doing instead of thinking.  But too late for that now, 30s are for the doing, because I don't have time to sit around and think about doing something.  If I waste my time, the baby will wake up and I won't get to paint at all.  Less time more do.